Individual Therapy for People Pleasers in California
You’ve spent most of your life trying to make things easier for other people. You go above and beyond to make sure things run smoothly. Everyone thanks you, or maybe they don’t, and at the end of the day you find yourself thinking, “Why did I do all of that?”
Hello!
I'm Leanndra. I work with people who are struggling with boundaries, communication, stress and anxiety, people-pleasing, and irritability.
I have a particular interest in working with people who are going through a shift in the roles they play, such as getting a divorce, becoming a new mom, taking a different career path, or recently graduating, as well as complex PTSD, which comes from repeated events (big or small) from childhood that have impacted everything as an adult.
You don’t have to have it all figured out
When anxiety, stress, relationships, family dynamics, or old patterns start taking up more space than you want them to, it’srefreshing to have someone who can look from the outside and help you figure out what has been and is going on within.
You might be the oldest daughter, the dependable one, the people-pleaser, the high achiever, a mom trying to find your footing, or someone who knows something needs to change but isn’t sure where to start.
You may look like you’re doing fine while feeling overwhelmed, resentful, disconnected, anxious, or stuck in repeating patterns.
Therapy for anxiety, relationships, and everything in between
I work with adults navigating anxiety, stress, overwhelm, relationships, boundaries, motherhood, perfectionism, people-pleasing, family dynamics, childhood experiences, attachment, and C-PTSD.
I also work with borderline personality disorder, relationship and attachment patterns, and periods of crisis when things feel especially difficult to manage.
Therapy isn’t solely about managing what’s happening today. We will also explore where these patterns came from and why they keep showing up in your life.
The things we can work on together
Anxiety, Stress & Overwhelm
When your brain won’t shut off, everything feels like too much, or you’re constantly managing everyone and everything around you. We’ll work on what’s happening beneath the anxiety, not just how to get through the next stressful day.
Relationships & Boundaries
Relationships can bring out patterns we don’t fully understand. We can look at overgiving, conflict, people-pleasing, attachment styles, boundaries, communication, and the roles you tend to take on with other people.
Motherhood
Motherhood can change your relationships, identity, expectations, and sense of yourself. There is room here for the parts that are harder to talk about, including resentment, guilt, anxiety, anger, feeling touched out, and wondering where you went in the middle of taking care of everyone else.
Family Patterns, Childhood & C-PTSD
Your childhood does not have to fit a neat definition of trauma to have affected you. We can look at the roles you grew up with, what you learned about relationships and yourself, and how those experiences still affect you today.
Understanding the pattern is part of changing it
My work draws from psychodynamic, attachment-based, ACT, somatic, and parts-informed approaches. We might talk about your relationships, notice what happens in your body, look at different attachment styles, or get curious about the part of you that keeps doing the thing you wish you could stop doing.
The therapeutic relationship matters a lot to me. It’s the number-one predictor of success in therapy. I hope that you enjoy coming to therapy, even though it can be hard sometimes. It’s the one hour a week you get to take care of yourself, focus on you, and hear from someone who won’t tell you what you want to hear or give unwarranted advice. You don’t have to perform, have the right answers, or come in knowing exactly what you need.
There’s also room for humor, honesty, and saying things you might not say to other people.
The shame around your patterns can make them harder to change.
You probably already know what you’re supposed to do. Set the boundary; stop overthinking; communicate better; let it go; think positively.
Knowing and implementing are two very different things.
Therapy gives us a place to understand why certain patterns are so difficult to change, where they came from, and whether they still serve you.
There is a reason behind the ways we cope, protect ourselves, and relate to other people. Understanding those patterns gives you more choice in what happens next.
Please allow up to 48 business hours for a response. For your privacy and security, I request that you do not include any sensitive or personal health information in your messages.
408-883-5455